• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

  • Biscuit Encounters on Twitter

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  • The Synod of Biscuitry

    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

Biscuits I have Known

There comes a time in a man’s life when he must settle down and turn his thoughts to biscuits, biscuits that he has known and loved. Rather than focus on a single biscuit, this post is a melange of broken-biscuit memories. Recalled in much the same way that the smell of madeleines (a posh French word for biscuits) brought back memories to Marcel Proust.

Chez Happymouffe and SomeBeans the ginger nut lies in the uneasy ground between animal and human food, much like peanuts for the birds*, Happymouffe maintains they are “horse biscuits” because they were the favoured food of her ponies. SomeBeans says “nom nom nom” (I’m no good at this phonetic stuff – that’s the sound of me eating the ginger nuts).

Cheddars are surely the crack-cocaine of the biscuit world? Who amongst us has not taken “just one” of the little fat / salt / industrial cheese flavour bombs and twenty minutes later found themselves holding an empty packet feeling a strange mixture of satiety and nausea.

One of my abiding memories of my first few weeks at university (Bristol – where I met Happymouffe eating a daffodil and wearing a DJ), was the currency of the hobnob. Hobnobs were new at the time, and certainly the classiest sort of biscuit readily available to students; people who had hobnobs were people of quality.

*the editor asks me, for reasons of ‘ealth and safety, to state quite clearly here that people SHOULD NOT eat the peanuts for the birds: they’ll get worms and probably hallucinate a cause de the aflotoxins.


Ian Hopkinson (Somebeans/@smallcasserole)

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10 Responses

  1. Cheddars are worse than Pringles. Especially as they have ability to suck up the last drop of moisture from the mouth.

  2. What a romantic story! It sounded at first like Le mouffe was wearing a disc jockey when first you met. What a gal, it was thought, to have someone hanging over her like an article of clothing.

    Across the pond, we have something similar to the cheddar, name of cheez-its, that have the same addictive quality. But the box clearly states “Made with real cheese” so they are health boosters.

    Frances

  3. Happymouffe would like me to point out that it was I that was eating the daffodil and wearing the DJ (=Dinner Jacket). You can get in terrible trouble with the differences between US and British English…

  4. Hobnobs are still up there with the classy-est of biscuitry in my mind. I never did finish Univeristy but boy, if someone had offered me a hobnob at their student digs I would instantly have thought them a friend for life. This never happened I am sorry to say, Government – pah! with their student fees and loans, damn it you were lucky if there were any biscuits and how is someone supposed to study without biscuits.!I’m gettting emotional and angry now and must go, by passing the biscuits and head straight for the more intense comfort of some very dark chocolate.

    How does a daffodil taste, is it worth trying and how does one prepare it? And I too am thankful for the explaination of the dinner jacket, I thought she was being physically attacked by a disc jockey – these things happen..

    • ooo… actually update to the ‘ealth and safety advice: DONT’T EAT DAFFODILS EITHER! I did it once and was okay, but I think the accompanying Southern Comfort may have neutralised the poison.

    • Seeing as Bruno Brookes, Dave Lee Travis and Gary Davies were still around then, that would have been a fate worse than death!

  5. Ah, sorry for the confusion. And daffodils are poisonous, the reason why deer, voles, and other varmints let them live, while diving into the tulips without worry of death by daffodil. Nice to see another biscuit fan who thinks a DJ is a person who spins records on a phonograph, hence the disc part, although the D could now be for compact disc. Times change.

  6. Umm… I don’ t think I’ve ever had a Cheddar biscuit. This may be because I got put off faux industrial cheese flavours at a young age having been violently car sick after eating a packet of cheesy wotsits.

    Abbey Crunch… now that is a proper biscuit.

  7. Although fond of Cheddars, they have now been surpassed in my book by ‘Melts’ – a sort of Cheddar in evening dress.

    And yes, Hob-nobs were the ultimate way for students to show off – on a par with Bob Marley posters and Indian bedspreads.

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