• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

  • Biscuit Encounters on Twitter

  • The Synod of Biscuitry

    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

I Travel In Biscuits

You may remember John Cooper Clarke, the Punk Poet.  I once saw him perform this at the Waterman’s.  It was about a real life rep for a biscuit company that he’d met in a hotel somewhere. (From the Album, Zip Style Method)

the sound of the daylight
the smell of the urine
the rain on the drainpipes
the filthy two-two time
i should know better
how an animal feels
a real go-getter
a wolf on all wheels
white collar whizz kids
button three mohair
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere

munchety munch
this is the punchline
crunchety crunch
they last you a lunchtime
who can resist it
who can be so square
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere

can you afford it
this is the crunch
orders are audits
a kiss or a punch
a dangerous neighborhood
don’t push it too far
i feel like i’m made of wood
i stay in the car
i had to risk it
i had to go there
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere

the critical daylight
the smell of the urine
the rain on the drain pipes
the filthy two-two time
life is precarious
a long way from home
in alien areas
always alone
i look like a misfit
no one i know there
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere

munchety munch
this is the punchline
crunchety crunch
they last you a lunchtime
who can resist it
who can be so square
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere
i had to risk it
i got to go there
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere
i look like a misfit
no one i know there
i travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere

LYRICS © JOHN COOPER CLARKE

Lila Das Gupta

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6 Responses

  1. On a wet and dingy morning in East Devon, you’ve made me a very happy man

  2. Ditto (and the weather)

  3. Do tell. Does it bring back memories?

  4. Cambridge folk festival sometime in the mid ’80s – The Pogues and John Cooper Clarke on the same bill.

    Close run thing betweenn JCC & Shane MacGowan for worst dressed performer

  5. for some reason i read that out in an american accent, in a voice deeper than my own. weird. i think i like it, anyway thank you for passing a few minutes while i wait for a LATE visitor.

  6. definitely memories – just time and a place. growing up, running around the country seeing bands, the tube on friday night before you went out etc.

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