• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

  • Biscuit Encounters on Twitter

  • The Synod of Biscuitry

    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

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Some People Are Never Happy…

What I want to know is how dare some company with a strange name I can’t recall, package its FIG ROLLS in a red with black and white packet, exactly the same as that used by Jacobs, who make the best fig rolls. I didn’t read the packet, eschewed the poor substitute ‘supermarkets own brand’, and picked this up with glee. Only when I was opening it did I realise the dire mistake I had made.

This ruined my afternoon tea totally.

This brings me to moan about supermarket own brands, which are inevitably inferior to THE REAL THING. And to quibble about the fact that biscuits are getting smaller. Remember when WAGON WHEELS were large and round, when PENGUINS were a decent size, not this snack size offering they now give us?

And has the number of currants in a GARIBALDI decreased I wonder?

And who the heck decided we needed umpteen different flavours of KIT KAT… caramel, mint, orange etc? People who love these crunchy wafery biccies, love the originals and won’t be fobbed off with arty farty new flavours, thank you very much.

Anyway, all this of course is small potatoes compared to the intellectual offerings that went before mine… but you did ask!

Nina Kellock

12 Responses

  1. Own brand…has there ever been a good ‘own brand’ version of anything edible? And all this orange kitkat business, not only is it unpleasant to eat it’s diluting our cultural heritage! WHich elads me on to a related point….are there any good new biscuits? By new i mean in the last (say) 5 years, ten maybe. I mean NEW, as in ‘unavailable before now’ rather than a foul mutation of an old favourite. I cant think of one. I feel a whole post coming on…..

    thank you for inspiring ranting

  2. Perhaps whoever it is paying someone to come up with new stupid words like STAYCATION, could pay them to think up new biscuit recipes. Though I suspect that new ones are being created all the time, up and down the country, in the sort of kitchen featured in glossy country lifestyle magazines, with powder blue or red Agas, by doting Mamas in their Cath Kidston aprons!

  3. At the risk of falling foul of the biscuit police, I would like to confess to loving the chunky Kit Kat with peanut butter! Does that make me a bad person?

  4. Not bad so much as quite weird and perhaps the sort of person best avoided when travelling on night buses.

  5. Oh dear Ms B. – not a ‘bad’ person but I think, in this case, it might have been better to stay in the closet. It is akin to owning up to liking the travesty of mint chocolate flavoured Baileys when clearly only the original will do.

  6. oh my I can’t think of a single new biscuit in 10 yrs, neither can the hubby. Peanut butter Kit kats – major YUCK, didn’t know they existed. Thanks for that, just eaten and know I feel sick. And quite frankly mentioning flavoured Bailey’s to an Irish girl is just rude Ms Sock!! All 3 are terrible tragdey to the palate. Is it a sign that we as a species have run out of good ideas? Is it any wonder we have war (shakes lowered head in saddness).

  7. wish you hadn’t mentioned Baileys….

  8. OMG! don’t know how BoJo got attached to my comments profile (well maybe I do, it’s a wordpress thing, but it’s not the sort of thing I admit to in this hallowed company – and bears no import on my views political or otherwise)
    Now I have to find out how to get rid of him – or do I just grin inanely and bluff it out with a flick of my fringe?

  9. Tesco’s ownbrand Bourbon biscuits spectacularly buck the trend – they are the best.

  10. what!? burn the heretic!

  11. The packaging sounds like a blatant violation of Trade Dress regulations. Sue ’em!

  12. Here come the villagers with pitch forks and burning sticks!

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