1. Plain chocolate digestive. These are far superior to the milk
chocolate version because the sweetmeal biscuit needs that thin
coating of bitterness. I prefer a small packet of chocolate
digestives: the end of a large packet leaves me feeling uncomfortable
about the number of consumed. They are best purchased from the corner
shop around Saturday teatime, and I should be the one to open the
packet. I like to unpick the end very carefully so it doesn’t tear.
2. Boasters. Crisp (faintly salted) biscuit. Savoury toasted
hazelnuts. Luxurious cubes of soft chocolate. Chocolate chip cookie
perfection. I had a boss who used to buy an inferior version for us as
a treat. The packets looked similar, and I would thrill with
excitement; only to find that the biscuits were softer, sweeter and
strongly vanilla-flavoured. I still hate her.
3. Iced Gems. I am always pleased to see this combination of chalky
sugar and bland biscuit. There is some debate in learned circles about
whether the colour of icing denotes a flavour. It may just be
suggestion, but I have definite memories of the magnolia ones tasting
of pretend orange. The best thing to do is to bite off the biscuit and
eat that first. Then let the icing sit on your tongue. After a couple
of seconds, give it a vigourous suck and it will disintegrate into
granular fragments. At a children’s party, however, crunch up the
icing, give the biscuit a bit of a lick and then leave it on the side
of your plate. Well-bred persons do not waste valuable belly space on
plain biscuit. Never pick off the icings from a number of gems and
place them on the side of your plate in anticipation of a sugar orgy.
Your neighbours would be quite justified in stealing them off you.
*If I might be bold enough to refer interested parties to this follow up post about opening biscuit packets.