The other day Clare Grant wrote a post on this very Blog entitled Three Beautiful Biscuits. It was a particularly fine post – well written and amusing. It also raised a question that I decided needed further exploration.
What is the correct way to open a packet of Biscuits.
Some are dead easy involving pulling apart an end but anything that is tubular becomes a bit trickier.
In particular I include Digestives (all sorts),HobNobs and Cheddars.
Clare declares that she likes to painstakingly pick open the end of a packet of digestives. This shows admirable dedication as the manufacturers do not encourage this approach. They want you to pull the convenient tab that removes a circle of wrapper about three biscuits down the stack.
Why do they want you to do that?
If I were a conspiracy theorist then I would suggest that then, in order to seal the packet effectively, you will need to eat at least six biscuits. If you unpick it (as Clare suggests) then you need only eat one before resealing. Hence they sell more biscuits.
But then the idea of just eating one biscuit is only for the most self-disciplined.
Crack Ninjas, for example, who as part of their training have to stare,unblinking, at a rice cracker for twelve days.
Or the SAS who are sent off into the wilds of Belize with one unsweetened biscuit, a length of twine and three damp matches.
Or my wife who is partial to eating just a half ginger nut at a time. A ginger nut that has been left out of the tin to soften fractionally before eating.
When it works the pulling the tab thing is very satisfactory; the top three biscuits form a neat hinged top and, for some reason, the biscuits eaten from that top is more delicious than many of their successors.But it doesn’t always work. Sometimes it snaps or fails to engage and disaster looms.
That may be too strong a word: its not like an earthquake or flood.
Not that sort of disaster. More a sort of mini-catastrophe.
A slight hiccup.
If I am to be completely accurate.
Personally I like to use a very sharp knife. The point should be plunged into the wrapper between the first and second biscuits.
It is very satisfying.
Almost as good as cutting through the vacuum sealed foil on top of a new jar of instant coffee.
Or slicing open a thick, handwritten envelope (that probably contains a cheque) with a heavy paper knife.
I might be beginning to sound a little bit suspect with all this talk of knives and slicing so I will stop right here…