• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

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    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

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License To Eat Biscuits

I was listening to the radio yesterday and discovered (possibly a little late in the day) there is such a thing as a Sudoku diet.

Apparently you can burn an average of 90 calories an hour simply by tackling puzzles.

Chocolate chip cookies contain 56 calories

Custard creams = 57 calories

Jammie dodgers = 85 calories

Chocolate digestives = 86 calories

So that means as long as I’m doing crosswords I can eat about one-and-two-thirds chocolate chip cookies an hour, or just one if it’s a jammie dodger, without putting on any weight at all.

And in two hours, the average time it takes me to lose patience with a Sudoku puzzle, rip it up and throw it out of the window, I can eat almost three chocolate chip cookies, and more than two jammie dodgers, with a completely clear conscience.

There are 20 jammie dodgers in a packet, the equivalent of almost 19 hours of continuous brain strain. And to eat a whole packet of choccie digestives, with about 24 biscuits in a 400g packet I would have to do nothing (not even sleep) but solve crosswords for a whole day.

So … how far would you go to eat the biscuit of your choice while maintaining an unsullied waistline?


Sally Nex



4 Responses

  1. It seems that the tearing up and throwing out the window exercise might burn up a few more calories, so the cookie intake can be upped accordingly.

  2. How come you know how many biscuits are in those packets? 😉

    Seeing it makes my brain hurt very much indeed, I reckon the intake could be increased at least 10 fold if you tackled the Times Crossword instead.

  3. I have permanent double vision so when I do puzzles do I burn off twice as much calories??? This is wonderful, I’m bridemaid in 3 weeks I’m going on the Suduko diet, I like Suduko, now I shall have to devote the next 3 weeks, 24 hrs a day to it. Thanks!

  4. Aren’t you wonderful – between you you’ve very kindly given me three excuses for eating even more biscuits. I am greatly indebted, especially so close to the festive season, and am sending virtual jammie dodgers to you all with accompanying crosswords.

    Happy Christmas!

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