• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

  • Biscuit Encounters on Twitter

  • The Synod of Biscuitry

    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

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Dog Biscuit

This poem comes courtesy of the tireless ferreting of Michelle Chapman. Henceforth to be known as The Orange. Michelle Chapman

The Dog Biscuit

It is so crunchy and so light, and
I just love to lick and bite, ‘cause
Fawning over this
Is the theme of my day.

Drool falls down like rain
And crumbs, crumbs, crumbs, crumbs,
I won’t give ‘em away.
(Crumbs, crumbs, crumbs, crumbs)

Inside me, a growl wakes,
You start to quake.
This dog biscuit,
You won’t take.
Inside I’ll a bark make,
You start to shake.

The race is on, I’m past your side, and
I’m ahead, now down I dive, I’m
Out into the yard
And running away.

Words come down from you.
You swear, swear, swear, swear.
You can’t get it away.
(Swear, swear, swear, swear)

I’m striding, and gliding,
Under the bough.
This dog biscuit
Is my Tao.
I’m hiding, I’m biding
My time for now.

Don’t take it, that makes no sense, when
You gave me the biscuit, hence, it
Was your own wise choice
To give it to me.

So I’ll hide back here.
And yum, yum, yum, yum.
Better than a pig ear.
(Yum, yum, yum, yum)

Far from you, I do chew
And stick like glue.
This dog biscuit,
I bite through.

Under the big oak tree,
I eat with glee.
This dog biscuit,
I’d like three.

I’m done now, I think “Wow,
That tastes like cow.
That dog biscuit,
More? Please? Now?”


5 Responses

  1. *wipes away tears*

  2. Wonderful, if Maggie coould write poetry these would be her sentiments exactly. Bravo Michelle for channelling your inner dog.

  3. Ummm – I just found it. I can’t write pomes for toffee!

  4. Congrats on becoming a big orange, VP! What a delightful story about a dog and his beloved biscuit. 🙂

  5. what a wonderful poem….. i like it just nice….

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