• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

  • Biscuit Encounters on Twitter

  • The Synod of Biscuitry

    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

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And You All Thought He Was Such A Nice Lad….

A team of biscuit tasters were tucking in to the first batch of chocolate digestives in the quality control dept of McVities HQ.

Suddenly the chief taster, a woman, starts to choke.  Everyone thinks she’s joking not choking but then watch in horror as she starts to turn blue with lack of oxygen.

A quick thinking male member of the team rushes over to her, squats down behind her lifts up her dress, pulls down her stockings and runs his tongue from the back of her right knee up to her buttocks.

He doesn’t hearl comments from his team such as “Oh my God!” and “Has he gone completely mad?” as he runs his tongue from the back of her left knee up to her now quivering buttocks.

The woman’s eye-balls bulge and she makes a weird squeaking noise before barking out the biscuit and gulping for air.

She’s saved.

The man stands up looking mighty pleased with himself but then looks round at his team all staring at him open mouthed.

“What?” he says, looking confused and aghast, “Haven’t any of you heard of the hind-lick manoeuvre?”

Cleve West (and Simon Sales of Waterwell)

4 Responses

  1. So bad its almost good. Almost

  2. Almost choked on my cuppa – v. amusing

  3. I am NOT laughing. I’m not, really I’m not

  4. Hahahahahahahahhahhaah – easily amused I know.

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