• The Tenuous Purpose

    This Blog is built - not, as some might expect, on a flimsy whim but on a strong and single minded principle.

    That principle concerns Biscuits and their position in the world.

    We are really very keen on biscuits.
    As are many of you out there.
    We think.

    We wish to create an archive of Arrowroot, a backlog of Bourbons and a catalogue of Chocolate Fingers. Anybody can contribute an entry - or dispute somebody else's - provided they are not dull.
    Even Americans who perhaps don't really have the heritage of biscuitry that we are fortunate to have here.

    Or maybe they do and we are unaware of the full glory of the cookie.

    We realise that this whole subject is admirably and concisely dealt with by that excellent and unbeatable website A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down. Our feeble efforts will be as the kicking of a gadfly in the face of their wisdom and experience but we hope that we may have a small contribution to make.

  • Biscuit Encounters on Twitter

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  • The Synod of Biscuitry

    James Alexander-Sinclair of Blackpitts
    Gardener, Blogger, Journalist, Lecturer etc, etc. Much of his life is spent loafing around other people’s gardens issuing directives and generally cluttering up the place. However, like the great Mr Kipling, he does (occasionally) make exceptionally good gardens. (Although even Mr Kipling messed up a bit with the Carrot and Walnut Mini Classics.)

    Mark Diacono of Otter Farm
    He does sterling work growing many inappropriate plants in Devon. He dedicates a great deal of time and effort nurturing a plethora of plants that are (mostly) totally unsuited to our climate. His is a life of such extreme eccentric dedication that to start a Blog about Biscuits seems perfectly normal. He treads gently in the footsteps of people like the great William Buckland,a professor of Geology who claimed that he could tell location by tasting the local topsoil.

Biscuit Monitor

OK, it is now time to fess up; I was once a biscuit monitor! This may sound a fairly minor & mundane position, but let me tell you it involved purchasing, marketing, money management, in fact huge responsibility. Actually, truth be told, I only remembered very recently that I had held this exalted biscuity position. Scary, I know: it should be foremost in my mind & top of my CV.

So, I set the scene; secondary school, break time, hungry children milling around, energy gaps breaking out everywhere, what was needed was a sugar rush to keep up energy levels until lunchtime (hopefully not one of those delicacies hairy fat stew or wobbly fat pie), but not sweets, no, too iccy & not sophisticated enough for young people. Instead the school sold biscuits to keep the revolting hordes under some semblance of calm. It was a great honour to be awarded the title of biscuit monitor & I was one of the exalted few.

What did we have tp do? We were responsible for deciding what variety to order & we are talking about biscuits in packets being sold individually, not choccie bars or anything luxurious. I wish I could remember what was the favourite but it is just too long ago. These were sold out of a little window in the admin block that looked out over the playground. We were also responsible for eating all the broken biscuits or the odd biscuits left in packets. It was a heady time, we were in the lower 6th, no exams but entrusted with such responsibility. Indeed the year was 1971, we had decimalisation to contend with & a major re-pricing exercise.

I have just realised I could put myself forward for The Apprentice with that experience. I may have missed my vocation.

Ms B.


3 Responses

  1. I can see you as biscuit monitor – quite formidable

  2. You are so lucky! I was never trusted enough to even be milk monitor. 😦 In fact I was forced to be blackboard monitor which involved cleaning all the chalky dust off the board and then chucking it down the back of the black gowned teacher for the amusement of the onlooking class. Oh what japes!

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